Today I Hate Class Systems Because...

A Clarification due to comments I received on these two posts:
 A lot of people fall into either the "I hate classes" camp or the "I hate skills" camp, whereas I love the good bits of both and am frustrated by the downsides of both. So before presenting my own system (where classes are just pre-packaged sets of skills), I listed the pitfalls I’m trying to avoid in two tongue-in-cheek posts heavily influenced by the fantastic http://roll1d12.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/so-your-character-is-jackass.html.
 This classes post is obviously about D&D - various incarnations thereof!

Roll d12.

1. But I don't want to be the Cleric!!

2. If classes are so good, why in Greyhawk, the OD&D supplement that introduces the Thief, does it also introduce triple-classed Elven Fighter/Magic-User/Thieves?

3. What do you mean I can't wear any armour?

4. Getting to be a 5th level Thief and finally realising that Thieves are rubbish.

5. The eternity between first level and second level, then suddenly you're twice as good!

6. Bards. Need I say more?

7. Why can't my Fighter learn how to climb?

8. Why doesn't a level 0 character have zero hit points?

9. Random class feats. "Beginning at seventh level you have honed your memory skills to perfection. In any situation you will be able to instantly recall a rule that the DM has forgotten about."

10. How come every Innkeeper in this city is a Fighter or a Thief?

11. What on earth's the difference between a Fighter, Barbarian, Cavalier, Berserker, Gladiator, and a Swash Buckler?

12. Bilbo was a Thief. No he wasn't, he was a Fighter. So how many locks did he pick, or traps did he disarm? Ah, but he picked a pocket and was sneaky! But he failed to pick that pocket - he was better at fighting. (Argument continues ad nauseum).